How to Thoughtfully Plan a Party in a Pandemic — From Backyard Gatherings to More Elevated Experiences

Somewhere in the past few months came the creeping, crushing realization that the coronavirus pandemic — and the isolation it brings with it — isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. And while mass gatherings or intimate cocktail parties are out of the picture for the foreseeable future, many may have begun planning thoughtful ways to get together safely with friends they feel comfortable with. (Have you had the Covid talk yet?)

“Many people find comfort and even sanity in bringing close friends over, or going to someone’s house that they trust,” says Heather Wiese-Alexander, etiquette pro and founder of the always beautiful Bell’Invito papery.

If you’re looking to elevate your pandemic party planning game beyond the standard blanket-in-the-backyard situation, Wiese-Alexander shares some excellent, inventive insight.

On Hosting Today

Your main priority: the health of your guests, along with every loved one and co-worker they may soon encounter.

“If you choose to entertain, small is all. Your table for 12 now seats only 4 or 6,” Wiese-Alexander says. “When deciding who to invite, being conscious and decisive is 100% in vogue — not at all rude.”

If you’re not sure about the concerns or lifestyles of a particular guest, opt to host them another time virtually. “While entertaining certainly gives us hosts great joy, this is the time to be sure the dinner party is all about each guest,” Wiese-Alexander adds.

On Indoor Hosting

Ideally, every pandemic-era party and activity could be planned outside, but Dallas summers have never been particularly kind even after the sun goes down. If you choose to bring the gathering inside, be sure to incorporate some modern-day adjustments.

“Give guests something disposable and single-use — like a toothpick — to grab anything on a common tray, or skip the co-mingling around the hor d’oeuvres all together and serve an appetizer while seated instead,” Wiese-Alexander says.

A few more tips…

– If guests have to be closer than six feet, mask up. Have extra clean or disposable masks for guests.

– Limit alcohol service. Let’s face it, some guests can get a little loud and sloppy with consumption. Keep the in-person entertaining slightly more civilized. (Don’t worry, it’s not forever!) Drink your cares away on the next Zoom happy hour.

– Put toss-able, single-use towels in the bathroom you plan for guests to use.

– Put an aerosol disinfectant in the bathroom and encourage guests to spray the area after use.

– Greeting with air kisses from six feet away are a yes. Save the bear hugs for 2021 (fingers-crossed).

– Put hand sanitizer and wipes both in the bathroom and in the room(s) where everyone is gathering.

For More Casual Gatherings

Minimizing communal touch points is key. The etiquette pro suggests asking guests to “BYOG” (bring their own grub) to a summer casual scenario. But do have your citronella candles and bug spray ready. “No one needs to trade Covid for West Nile,” Wiese-Alexander says.

On the activities front, Heads Up is always a crowd pleaser, and can actually be played in a socially distanced setup. Just make sure everyone has the app downloaded on their own phone. “Trust me, you will have a blast,” Wiese-Alexander says.

For More Elevated Dinner Parties

Given that your pandemic-era party group is so select, take the opportunity to plan an evening that’s about each individual.

“It’s a great time to make sure everyone gets to talk, feel heard, give a toast, be toasted, enjoy something they like — for instance a dish, the music, a wine, sharing a memory,” Wiese-Alexander says. “Making a small effort to be specific with each guest will go a long way toward making a lasting, happy memory during a difficult and infamous era. These little bright spots will last a lifetime.”

For the Invited

Not only do you not have to attend if you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t need to offer an elaborate excuse.

“A simple, ‘Thanks, but please allow me a raincheck for later,’ is completely sufficient. You don’t need to explain a thing,” Wiese-Alexander says. “Follow your instincts and know that the people worth investing in wouldn’t question you for a second.”